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After the Verdict

The deep breath I took after the guilty verdict was read was different. I felt that shit in my soul. Perhaps it was so palpable because there was a part of me that believed the jury was going to get it wrong, maybe I have grown accustomed to the injustice perpetrated by the “justice system”. Whatever you want to call it, it caused me to move through life holding my breath. This guilty verdict gave me a brief yet much-needed and desired reprieve. People have been rejoicing across America and social media, but none more than Black people. Chauvin’s conviction gives us hope that change is possible. My grandad briefly thought that I wouldn't have to give Dom the talk about police and existing while Black. Overzealous? Maybe, but in that immediate space, he felt free. And I did too… but in reality, I will have to have “the talk” with Dom and I will still have anxiety when I see police in my immediate vicinity. I pray that George Floyd’s family receives some closure from this verdict and the sentencing 8 weeks from now. Some have said this isn’t justice, but accountability, and I am inclined to agree. George Floyd should be here today. He did not sacrifice his life as Nancy Pelosi so ill-timely stated, it was stolen. His family will have to live with that Derek created. I believe Chauvin to be evil and devoid of remorse for the life he claimed and the lives he has affected. I also believe this verdict is a step in the right direction. I cannot allow myself to become cynical in these trying times. When the judge adjourned court and dismissed the jury, I wept. Tears of joy streamed down my face and it felt as if weight was lifted off my shoulders. The more I sit with that feeling, I understand that the weight has not lifted, I just became stronger. I think we became stronger. I think we are ready to continue to fight.

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