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  • JaVaughn Suber

First Time Dad

This journey of becoming a father has made me realize that the world is much bigger than me. You literally have to transition from being a selfish person to a selfless one. In my fiancé's first trimester she couldn’t do anything but sleep and eat. Watching her go through the motions of morning sickness and loss of appetite was a hard transition for me, but I knew I had to be there for her in the moments she needed me the most. I became a provider, nurturer, and caretaker all at once. I accepted this challenge with open arms and it made me aware of something my father always said to me, “If your wife goes down, you need to be able to take care of the household all by yourself.” And that I did. As things began to get back to normal and my fiancé started to show more belly, the milestones of our journey felt like highlights on Sports Center after a big game. The baby's first heartbeat, seeing them on the ultrasound roll around, having conversations with family and friends about parenting, and gifts off the registry, all of it started to set in for me. I'm going to be a father to a human out here in the world and that feeling is one that you can't describe. You just have to feel it. But sometimes when I'm alone with my thoughts, I think about the hard times of being a parent. What about when my child wants to go another route instead of the path that has been experienced and laid out? How do I make sure I am teaching my child how to get ahead all while not scaring or annoying them? Being a Black father how do I protect them from all the biases and discrimination they may face because their skin isn’t as light as some of their peers? I worry yes, but I feel I am equipped with the tools to make them a decent human here in society. Being a first-time father is something I will never forget. As I mentioned before, it is something that has changed me for the better. I have a newfound purpose. My intention is different when I do things. I take this journey one day at a time and cherish each moment. I can't wait to step into the world of fatherhood.

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