Mad Black Girl Dad
The cat’s out of the bag… I’m gonna be a #GirlDad. As I look forward to my baby girl’s arrival, I spend plenty of time thinking about the kind of father I want to be for my girl. I think it's kind of shallow and stereotypical to say I'm going to teach her the game so yall musty ass son’s don’t try and run it on her. Or I'm going to give her the world so she won't be impressed by a Spirit flight to Miami. In practice, I just want to be a Dad that makes her feel empowered, supported, loved, ambitious, and worthy.
But isn’t that what every dad wants for their daughters?
I feel like it is natural to experience heartbreak to some extent. Learning how to deal with people romantically or platonically is a trial by fire process. I can give her advice along the way, but much of it she won't know until she tries. Right?
People are so stuck on their social norms. They will tell her or maybe subtly suggest what she should or shouldn’t do because she’s a girl. They will try to throw up a glass ceiling for that same reason. I want her to do things that fill her spirit… her pockets too, but mostly her spirit.
I’m pretty sure I want her to know how to fight. Boxing? Martial Arts?
Should I be the first to take her on a date? Or does Leah do that? Do I have the sex talk or Leah? Did I mention her knowing how to fight?
I honestly don’t know… I think the word for me is free. I just want her to feel free.
Free to learn, free to explore, free to fail, and free to experiment. Even before I started mentally preparing myself to raise a daughter (whatever that means), I watched how some men before me interacted with their daughters. My observations are varying. I’ve seen men pass down patriarchal views and I'm good on that.
I’ve seen some men enable poor decisions because that's his little princess or some other BS to not hold their daughter or themselves accountable. I can’t get with that either.
Some dads are IG dads (eye roll).
I’m rambling, but my point is that I am considering what it means to be a Mad Black Girl Dad. I look forward to being a light in her life and an anchor that she can always lean on. I am as ready as I can be for this new experience. I am sure it is going to be a rollercoaster, but at all times, I need my little girl to know that daddy will be her biggest fan and he will always have her back.
I’ll revisit this after Dionne is born.