Me and Gabby raising kids together is a crazy experience for me. I went from a FUCKED up marriage with a woman who cheated on me, to marrying Gabby, who has also been through a lot on her own. In my first marriage, we were financially straight, and I had the start I wanted in life. I don't regret any of it, but my reset has been an eye-opening journey.
I went from single and balling TF out, to having a wife and three children! It was such a fast turnaround that I honestly couldn't keep up, but seeing the kids definitely gave me one hell of a reason to not give up. Even if I didn't create them, that bond was already there, and I'm going to be their teacher, protector, and as best of an example as I can be.
Luckily, I feel like it worked out for me because there is no reason for a child to have to grow up as I did. By 11, I essentially had the mindset of a grown-ass man trying to survive, and while it had its benefits… that is kinda fucked up for a child. I DON'T want them to go through that just to have an understanding of the world, but they do need the understanding. I want to be that middle ground, share experience, and pass down wisdom. Give them good moments and take care of them without causing them to be pampered or reliant. I want to teach them how to be financially stable by watching me do this reset shit. I never hide anything from them because they are "children", but I let everything be a teachable moment. Not just be that "parent" and actually be their friend.
Even if it doesn't seem traditional, I'd rather them try and potentially fuck up around me and in the house, than out where an uncontrolled situation can arise. Get drunk in the crib... 1. "aight well bet you didn't like that huh? Now let's moderate that"... 2. "It's kind of weird but what's going on with your private area so we can get it figured out... Now let's talk about it"... I don't just want to be a spaz out parent, violent parent, only feared parent. The fear will be there, but I want this love to be stronger and let them know they'll always have a friend, counselor, or even a book of wisdom. even if it's only in the crib. This is the result of me growing up without a pops. From observing other families to weighing the pros and cons of other households as well as my own upbringing, I'm trying to evolve and be the best father I can be, not just a traditional father.
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